I am not alone. I am held.

These are two awarenesses that anchored in me more deeply last week, thanks to a bodywork session with the talented Tricia.

Shortly after we began, I asked my soul about the tightness along my right side–what do I need to know? I got: Move forward.

A part that felt afraid to move forward surfaced. This part felt she would not be caught, would not be held, there was no net.

Tricia asked if there was an experience I have had in which that occurred, in which I moved forward and was not caught. Oh fuck! I responded out loud, shocking even myself. What immediately had come forward is the incident at cheerleading practice–some 30-plus years ago–in which everyone backed away as I started to fall from shoulder-height, instead of following through on their spotting duties. Splat.

Indeed, I was not caught. Or…was I? As I recalled this incident, I was seeing so clearly that it was downstream from the mind: the mind had expected to not be caught, the mind projected a reality reflecting the misunderstanding that I am not held. The truth is, in that instant of falling, I was most worried about the face smashing into the floor, because that seemed to be the trajectory the body was on. However, “somehow” my face managed to avoid contact with the floor. It seemed a miracle. Yes, a knee popped open and the impact shoved bones so deeply into the skin that a skeletal outline could be seen outwardly; the face, however, suffered nary a scratch.

The opportunity present is to let go of this misunderstanding, replace it with the knowing that I am held, that, indeed, I am part of the fabric that does the holding.

Which brings me to the other awareness that came forward: I am not alone. This was demonstrated clearly in my mind when a saw a wolf (in the mind’s eye) come stand beside me, in support and connection. In fact, it seemed comical in that moment to believe in anything other than our connectedness. How could one be alone? It is impossible.

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
We are of One.
Through sheer existence, we hold one another. We are both the hold-ee [in the illusion of separateness] and the holder [through our interconnection with all others].

I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.
–Martin Luther